Selena Williams responds to Mushed Bb by Elise Mollie (2024)
A Squeezed Life
I know some part of me spilled out.
The grief came when I realized that there was no stitching able to erase what I saw or felt.
The tension grew day by day without relief.
Eventually the pressure grew beyond what my structure could hold.
As I let myself fall deeper,
Down to the bottom of the ocean of berries,
I felt you grasp me in your fingers.
I felt your clutching embrace.
When you witnessed me, I was just a little berry in your hands. I felt shy, nervous being held by another, and yet somehow more safe.
Yet somehow I no longer feel the constant tension.
You seem to even hold me with care.
You look at my impaired coating with desire and intimate curiosity.
My boundaries continue to give and my dark blue shifts into colors that were once solely housed in my dreams.
I am lost in wonder as I am no longer a little berry.
An infinite sea of light expels from my hurting belly.
I find it strange that my form once held a world barely touched,
Waiting for another to patiently explore.
I want you to feel what comes out without hesitation,
The inner being reaching out to touch you and only you.
And I only realize when it’s already too late that so much of myself is spread across your fingers.
I hope you keep the fingers still,
Never out of my sight.
I wonder if this is what you want or if you need this in some needling way.
Want me,
Never need me.
Want me,
Never need me.
I hope you never fully consume me,
I don’t want to find myself a part of your story alone.
But as you look further and further into the uncovered body, it makes me see the other side of my little world.
As the innermost pieces are fully exposed, the last of me looks to you as I rest beneath your fingernail.
The inevitable merging of our existence onto one single body to my delight and despair.