June Thompson responds to Little Brown Leatherwinged Bat Crankie by Storm Welch (2023)
Plato’s Allegory of the Bat
To reverberate, I must let go of resentment.
The defiance in my heart muttles the waves lapping at my every beat.
Should the stalagmite below form from
The cave currency or from my tears?
Should my sleep integrate me or place me above it all?
She left me! Drip. She left me! Drip. She left me! Drip.
A spell has been cast on me. A trauma trap.
Do we all feel it, hanging here? Are we waiting for the slightest disturbance? The smallest ripple? In my resistance each drop is a mountain . Each step of the beetle an affront.
She hates me. She hates me. She hates me.
These silly, foolish, narrow, stubborn fiends of the night! Perched beyond it all. Feeling only the simulation of their own minds. Do they not embrace the subtle rocking of the cave air? Does its flow maintain the spell or release it? How could I risk leaping for the answer? Leaping. Leaping off simply to hang. Is the suspension in the leap itself?
I can’t. I can’t! I hurt her! I hurt her!
I’m so pathetic. I’m so small. Silly. A child! Shameful! I deserve nothing but to hang here! I don’t belong. I can’t. It’s against my nature.
RRRAH! This pain! It’s unbearable! I can barely breathe! Wait. No, don't let go! Don’t let go! Don’t let go shit shit shit shit shit!
…Alive
…Pain
…Awake
I’m stretched out through the spikes. This ache!
Woah. It feels… good? Pain feels… good?
They’re judging me! They’re looking!
No. Still asleep. Or indifferent. Or. Maybe, concerned? Hopeful? Yearning?
I can feel their pulsating. It clashes… dances? With the cave current. I like it. I feel good. In pain and good. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! Fuck. FUCK I’m so sorry! Live your life! Be happy! Be SO happy! The world is grand. I want it to be grand for you. Fly and see it all! Feel it all! I love you. I love you!
Ugh. My everything hurts. Let’s see. How to get out of these spikes?…..